Monday, November 26, 2007

“I know it’s crazy, but it’s true.”

For a fairly resolute non-monogamist such as I, three months and change is a pretty good run. But all good things...well, spread the word: I'm back on the market and priced to move.

Oh, and save the sympathy. The stretch just ended was casual as casual can be, came to a close amicably by mutual agreement and leaves in its wake a very tight friendship...with benefits. Just like baby shampoo, no tears and no tangles.

Lessons learned or reaffirmed? A couple. First, the people who tell you long-distance relationships are a challenge? They're absolutely correct. The most challenging of all? The ones that begin as short-distance romance and bow under the strain of eventual enforced geographic separation. But almost equally vexing is the medium-distance relationship, where one party or the other moves away but not so far that you have to take a plane there, for example. Then a lot of your conversations become who's driving over this weekend or why don't we meet in the middle or gas is up to three bucks a gallon and yeah, we're sure racking up the hotel points but neither of us is made of money...and so on. Even if you don't let the logistics become a strain—and falling for a fella who is your equal or better in creative problem solving and romantic distraction is a plus here—it's still awfully wearing.

Second: "All my exes live in Texas" is a great rhyme, but it's not true. Only one does; the rest are all in New York City. Somehow they all end up there and I refuse to. Nothing against the city per se, although more than a few weeks spent there consecutively tends to drive me starkers, but I've yet to meet the man who'd make me chuck St. Louis for the isle of Manhattan. If you ever get a change of address from me that includes a 100XX zip code, you'll know it's love everlasting.

Third: The past few weeks have fortified my belief that there's not a lot of room for a serious relationship in my life. Not that I've ruled it out entirely—I never have, though some think elsewise—but my priorities are on other things right now: health, family, career. "On your own with only you to concern yourself doesn't mean you're lonely, just that you're free," as the great man wrote.

Of course, another one said, "When you get caught between the moon and New York City..."