Wednesday, August 26, 1998

Young and sexy recreational drug users encouraged to apply.

Future-schlock? "The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn." — Alvin Toffler

Sorry, sorry, sorry. Lately my brain just hasn't had all the RAM it needs to run many applications simultaneously, and this website is the process that got dumped. I'll try to do better as my life settles down appreciably for the fall. Your patience over the past couple of weeks is, as always, appreciated.

So, let's clear the cache (short takes on links I've been accumulating):

This web-based guide to, well, everything fancies itself the Earth-bound equivalent of The Hitch-hiker's Guide to the Galaxy, but in recent weeks, it's become less promising as a concept and more of a geek-clique inside joke club. Oh well.

A nice gathering of short pieces and essays by progressive writers, performance artists and assorted others, all bearing Witness.

Esprit descalier gotcha down? Coulda, shoulda, woulda-pangs? Come up too late with the witty or bitchy retort to the devastating personal affront just dealt you? There's hope! So There.

A nice, short profile of writer David Sedaris, bard of the bitter. [LA Weekly]

It happened in Nashville, where he recently appeared on a local variety show. "I was on with somebody who made fish out of scrap metal," he recalls, "and an elderly couple who had just won Fabio's I Can't Believe It's Not Butter Romance Competition. They were in their mid-80s, and they got up there, and they said, 'When we were first contacted with the news that we had won the Fabio's I Can't Believe It's Not Butter Romance Competition, Curtis and I were just floored!' And then, 'We're going next weekend with the other four finalists of the Fabio's I Can't Believe It's Not Butter Romance Competition on a cruise!' And 'On the following Sunday we will announce the final winner of the Fabio's I Can't Believe It's Not Butter Romance Competition!' I was just beside myself. I wanted to ask them, like, 'How many times are you going to say I can't believe it's not butter?'"

From the Department of Ridiculous Double-Standards: A Sandy-Eggo newspaper rejected an advertisement for a new movie because the ad contained a picture of two guys apparently about to kiss. Puh-leeze. [San Francisco Examiner]

What's the deal with all of these dreadful lesbian hairstyles? [Washington Post]

I've said it before and I'll say it again (and apparently Jon Carroll agrees with me): the best way to get people to watch local TV news is to make it local and to make damn sure it's news. [San Francisco Chronicle]

Quite fun: A top-notch Matt Drudge parody-portal, The Drudge Retort.

Monica, Schmonica: You want an interesting practicum? Try interning for the King of the Gonzos. Fear and Loathing, indeed. [P.O.V.]

Wanted: Editorial Assistant job description: Must enjoy late-night hot-tubbing, chain-smoking, binge dessert eating, drinking hard alcohol, mixing margaritas and driving large cars in a reckless manner. Should be able to withstand frequent yelling and loud noises, unintelligible rantings, and handle firearms and exploding targets with ease. Knowledge of soft porn a plus. Curiosity about the limits of sleep deprivation helpful. Knowledge of housecleaning and faxing imperative. Young and sexy recreational drug users encouraged to apply.

I WANT MY WTV: The Brunchers look at the line-up on the new cable web, White House TV. [Brunching Shuttlecocks]