I’m not Pollyanna, but…

The recent election didn't turn out altogether as I'd hoped it would and so I'm left pondering, as I heard Roy Blount put it today, how exactly I fit in this new, post-11/2 world. I'm dismayed and a little angry at the prospect of another four years of a George W. Bush presidency but, except for Clinton, no candidate I've supported ever won, so the feeling is familiar if not entirely comfortable.

As ever, I'm attempting to retain the sense of humor that has seen me through nearly 36 years so far. In that spirit last week, I was often quoting my favorite political rhyme:

The election is over, so
let peace come to pass.
I'll hug your elephant
If you'll kiss my ass.

So. Moving on, I have a few requests.

Could we please all stop referring to "red states" and "blue states"? That us versus them mentality is deceptively reductive and the fact is, most of the states are, in fact, as purple as the prose the pundits have reeled out post-election in vain attempts to describe what the hell is going on. Red versus blue is just the latest rhetorical trick to keep us from thinking of our fellow citizens as people, to wring nuance out of the political process and force us to view every issue in stark relief.

"We're more alike than different" is a chestnut that's easy to trot out in times like these, but that doesn't mean it isn't true. Americans are a lot of different colors, but none of them is bright red or blue or purple. The more time we spend reducing the political spectrum, the less we have to devote to finding common cause or, at least, detente. Red and blue thinking frees us to stop listening to each other altogether and that's one freedom we could stand to give up.

I'm a white guy with a lavender lifestyle in a blue city in a red state and it's put me in a brown study.

A lot of people, some of them close friends, have made noises about moving: to other states, to Canada, to the grand duchy of Luxembourg. I'm staying put. It's not that Canadian men aren't attractive — I'm looking at you, Jean-Paul — or that the thought of starting over in a new place is frightening. It's that I was raised to believe that you don't run away from a fight, especially a fight you can win.

There's another election just around the corner and Missouri is going to need all the help it can get.

If you must move, at least go somewhere where you can do some good. My friends are all talking about heading to New York or San Francisco or Portland or Chicago. I'm more inclined to think we should be sticking around and convincing more folks to move here. And to Oklahoma. And Utah. And Montana. And Texas.

Unless you're only interested in your own comfort (and why do otherwise sane individuals vote for tax breaks and increased military spending anyway?), why move to a place where the hard work has already been done? Have fun dishing with the boys in Chelsea or planning a day trip to Napa. We'll miss you, sure, but meanwhile, the Show-Me State is down two good voters and we'll have to work ten-fold as hard to fill your shoes here.

So consider this an invitation: St. Louis (the aforementioned blue city) is a pretty decent place to live, all things considered. Gay folks can't get married here, okay, sure, but we've got a darned nice anti-discrimination ordinance in the city and you can't beat the cost of living. Nice looking folks here, too, and a lot of them are whip-smart. We're still working through a lot of our issues and, candidly, we're still one of the most segregated cities in America. But we're getting better and we could use your help.

Anyway, I won't be packing my grip and heading for the Castro. Where things are the worst, there is the greatest possibility for change. And I get off on change.

Finally, let's stop pitching around the words "evil" and "stupid" all willy-nilly, shall we? There are very, very few truly evil people in the world, and a lot of those aren't even Democrats or Republicans. Just because someone belongs to a different group than you doesn't automatically make them evil, and most of the folks who voted for George W. Bush aren't stupid.

Heck, even George W. Bush isn't stupid, really. Misguided, yes, I'd say so. Not particularly thoughtful or considerate or deliberate? I'd say that too. And there are some issues and pronounciations that he isn't well-informed about. But he's not stupid or evil. He's just the wrong guy to lead the country right now.

If we keep thinking of everyone who doesn't agree with us as stupid, we give ourselves a pass to dismiss them as unworthy of even attempting to engage in debate. We write them off and continue preaching to a smaller and smaller choir. They're not stupid. They just haven't learned yet and, if we think we know better, we have an obligation to respectfully teach.

The next two years, four years, decade or so, won't be easy or even particularly pretty, but we'll get through them. We'll get through them together, I hope, and we'll do it by seeing each other not as colors or campaign planks but as people.