Interior Monologue From a West Hollywood Bookstore

Wow, heads really turn whenever that little bell on the door rings, eh? No pressure. Nope. Good lord, that book was awful. Nice call end-capping it. Mmm...cutie by the stroke books. OK, cool. Things are looking up. Nod. Hey. Nod. Hey. For what it's worth, kid, I agree with you: Freshman is probably more interesting than me, today at least. Eh. They're still printing that? Wasn't he indicted? This much printed porn means the Internet hasn't really reached its potential, I guess. Seen it. Seen it. Seen it. Oh, videos! God, look at my hands. I need some lotion. I hope I didn't say that last bit out loud. Falcon videos are proof that God loves us and wants us to be hap--hey, is that Jeremy Piven over there? He looks like Jeremy Piven. Ah, Jeremy Piven is hot. Wait, when the hell did I start being turned on by Jeremy Piven? Who cares? He's hot! That's not-- Nod. Hey. Nod. Hey. Yeah, not Jeremy Piven. Nice calves though. I wonder if you could consider any bookstore that doesn't have a children's section an adult bookstore. What would that mean zoning wise? Geez, where do I come up with this shi-- Whoa! Hello, little Bel Ami boy. Well, maybe he's the second-string Bel Ami boy. Nice eyes. Nice pack-- Nod. Hey. Nod. Hey. Stare. Really nice eyes. I should prob-- I have no idea what you--what is that, Spanish? Eh, keep staring. Nod. Hey. OK, then. Yeah, sure. Right on. It's a universal language all right. Yeah, heads turn when the bell rings, especially when you walk out with him.

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