Further Proof That I Am Not Adopted
Mom: Do you have any plans for next weekend?Me: Nothing definite. I've been invited to a pool party, but I'm not sure I'm going.
Mom: Why not?
Me: Well, that only gives me a few days to get a tan and pecs.
Mom: If you're in that much of a hurry, you'd better get the saline implants, dear.
Me: Uh...what?
Mom: Well, that way if they burst, you can at least clean your contact lenses.
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Brad L. Graham is a writer, editor, riverboat gambler, fashion consultant, softshoe dancer, professional assassin, freelance factotum and singer of sentimental ballads.The BradLands is his home on the web. 
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