From Dennis and Friends

Hey gang, Dennis here again. I've got a few more pals who wanted to share some thoughts about movie musicals. My friend John, a frequent participant in Screening Party readings, has this to say about the nutsy Finola Hughes vehicle, The Apple.

JOHN: A perfect case of "music" and "plot" getting in each other's way to create a delicious mix of ridiculously overdone bad production numbers. The Apple is quite possibly the gayest movie about "straight" people ever made in Eastern Europe.

Dr. Beaverman, from Screening Party, also felt the need to share her thoughts on what musicals could be updated.

DR. BEAVERMAN: I'm seeing Bjork in the remake of the Florence Henderson vehicle Song of Norway.

Maybe a black remake of The Music Man ("Da Man") starring Missy Elliot as Harold Hill, with Kelly Rowland in the Shirley Jones role and Gary Coleman as the little brother wot lisps. I'm seeing Ruben from American Idol in the Buddy Hackett role. The showpiece number, "Trouble," would have to be rapped along of lines of how in The City (but not Iowa City), the presence of a white beauty shoppe threatens the sisters' roots (figuratively and otherwise). "Capital T and that rhymes with D and that stands for get your hair DID."

Sunset Boulevard remade with Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore.

I'd like to see The Wiz with the same cast members reprising their roles today (Diana Ross can't even walk in a straight line in a DUI check, let along follow the yellow brick road!).

Maybe Clay Aiken as Fanny Brice in Funny Girl.

And for God's sake, just reissue (to wide distribution) Cybill Shepherd's 1974 musical abortion At Long Last Love - JUST AS IT IS!)

DENNIS: My pal Dave White just wants to give a shout out to one of his favorites...

DAVE: ROCK 'N' ROLL HIGH SCHOOL!

DENNIS: As for me, I could listen to the Xanadu soundtrack until the end of time and recall, as a teenager, wanting to track down the sheet music for it so I could perform "Whenever You're Away from Me" at a Swing Thing Dinner Dance in high school. I never found it though so I had to settle for "Suddenly." My favorite recent Xanadu moment was at last year's Sing-along screening at Outfest when, at the end of "Suspended In Time," my roommate Tony says, "They don't call her One-Take Newton-John' for nothing."

I also have to say that I saw Fame recently on the big screen for the first time since it came out and I couldn't believe how good it was. We forget, what with Debbie Allen's various nutty Fame-based projects -- I'm convinced she even owns the Fame font and you have to pay her a quarter to use it -- we forget what integrity the original film has. I cried five times while watching it because I remember how badly I wanted to be like those kids pursing their careers as creative triple-threats and how innocent and full of hope they are. Now, in my late 30s, I see all these broken dreams around me, some of them my own, and it made me cry. Fine, Dennis, bum everybody out on the blog with your Fame bullshit. Another good thing about Fame is that Debbie Allen has like one line in it.

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