April 18, 2003

Enhancing iMovie: Plug-ins for expanding the capabilities of the already spiffy Macintosh free digital video editor iMovie from Stupendous Software and eZedia.

Are you high, Clairee?! I seem to be evolving some sort of schlock media theme as the week winds down. Today's exhibit: Straight Up, a 1980s version of Reefer Madness, featuring Louis Gosett, Jr. and Aron Eisenberg (later "Nog" on Star Trek: Deep Space Nine) and starring Chad Allen, best known for his role as the snackable frontier twink on Dr. Quinn: Medicine Woman. Hey, grab a beer, roll a fat one and consider a snippet from the synopsis of this "Just Say 'No'"-era relic.

Suddenly he's in a mystical elevator with Lou Gossett Jr. who is performing a song about elevators in a tie-dyed overcoat, dancing and pawing at Chad Allen. The song is criminal in its suckitude, and after he's done destroying centuries of musical theory, he gives Chad a rainbow headband that he claims is the key to all drug and alcohol knowledge. Let's go over it again: a mysterious stranger who stole his outfit from Whoopi Goldberg's closet pulls a little boy into an elevator with him, caresses him while he performs a short musical, and gives him a magic rainbow headband. There couldn't be a gayer way for you to teach Chad Allen about drugs if you were two tiny magicians on his shoulder giving each other oil massages.

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