Saturday, April 16, 2005

Calendar madness

Those online city guides and calendars, they sure are handy, right? You're in St. Louis or Chicago or Denver for the night and you want to go to the theatre or a gallery or go hear a good band, so you log on and search by date for what you're interested in. Easy, eh?

Not if you're a venue operator. For us, they're a pain in the ass.

About once a month, I get e-mail from a new website that has undertaken as their mission to be the place to go for information about events in St. Louis. They are going to maintain Calendar Supremo, a one-stop shop for all the details on theatre|art|music|entertainment in the metro area.

And I sigh heavily and add them to the list of (at this writing) 26 other sites I have to update with information about our events. We produce nearly 400 public performances and events every season. Assuming I can enter each into a web database—each of which wants the information in a different order or format— in, say, two minutes (and I can't), that's 13 hours of work per calendar. Over eight weeks of solid work, just to keep up.

I can't not participate in these calendars. For one thing, as sure as I decide to skip one of the more obscure ones, that's the one my boss checks religiously and wonders why we're not listed. For another, I can't be sure which ones have an audience of users hungry for information about local theatre, and I can't be sure which one will be the next "big thing" that everyone turns to to get events information.

So I grit my teeth and thank the stars that copy and paste eliminates at least some of the work and spend hour after hour on my butt in front of the computer repeating myself 26 times.

I love how the web makes my life easier as a user sometimes. This, however, sucks.

What I want to do, and what I know is theoretically possible, is to put all of my season information in one file of a particular format—XML, tab-delimited text, whatever—and either put it on my server or be able to upload it to each calendar and be done. Write once, read many...time-saving and error-reducing into the bargain.

I've inquired of the folks who do the major city guides. They all agree it would save me a lot of work and nod sympathetically when I tell them they're not the only game in town and the effort of servicing a dozen different calendars is breaking my figurative back. They're not inclined to change the system, however, or adopt a syndication format or standardized data-entry method that would make it easier. After all, if every calendar and city guide had the same information, no one could be the best, see?

I understand, to a point, and I appreciate competition and the way it has of encouraging innovation and all that rot. But here's the deal: These services that rely on the goodwill and "free" labor of venue managers and publicists to provide them with free content and then make it hard as hell to do are beyond beginning to piss me off.

If you really want to support and promote the arts and culture, let me easily tell people about my events and then get back to the business of, you know, actually producing them. If you can't do that, I may begin to suspect you're really more interested in just making a buck.

Thursday, April 7, 2005

Maps made for walking

Earlier this week, Google Maps added the capability to toggle between their high-readable, easy-to-use map format—a manifold improvement over the likes of Mapquest—and a new "satellite" view that features actual high-altitude photographic representations of the area being displayed.

And the crowd went wild!

Justifiably so, I think, because the feature and the whole implementation of Google Maps is just deeply cool.

So this isn't really so much a request for the lazy web as it is a request for the good people of Google Labs.

I want a mapping and directions service that lets me choose between driving directions and walking directions. I most often make use of sites like Google Maps when I'm in a strange city or headed for an unfamiliar destination, but won't be taking a private car.

If I plug in a start point and destination, most map sites will give me directions that are perfectly logical for a driver but don't allow for the fact that someone on foot can go places a car can't—both ways on the sidewalks along a one-way street, for example. I was trying to put together directions for a friend to reach a hotel I'd recommended to them in Chicago, but both Mapquest and Google Maps would have me send them on a six-block roundabout route along Lake Shore Drive, when they could simply schlep their suitcase two blocks by turning onto a one-way street.

I'd really like it if I could tell Google or whoever that I'll be on foot and have it adjust the directions accordingly. Perhaps I could also put in the most I'm willing to walk (say, no more than two miles) and it could warn me if a planned jaunt exceeds my hiking capacity.

Even better would be if directions could, optionally, incorporate both walking and mass transit options. This would be a particular boon for tourists, and especially in cities that offer both convenient and enjoyable strolls and excellent mass transit such as Chicago, London, New York or Washington, DC. (The Chicago CTA Trip Planner is a mini-example of this. It will recommend bus or train routes and then directions for walking the remainder to the desired destination.)

In chatting with friends about this, another feature that would be useful for both drivers and pedestrians would be the ability to tell the mapping application to "use this street" or "omit this street". That way you could conveniently route around ad hoc road blocks such as construction or traffic congestion (which isn't reliably accounted for on the existing sites), or use them to plot your own, personal "scenic route". The application might even, over time, recognize on its own that several users plotted similar routes and offer the shortcuts or scenic routes as alternative directions. Bicyclists and roller skaters would benefit from being able to eliminate certain roadways (interstates, high-traffic thoroughfares) from their directions.

Finally, if these sorts of toggles and options were implemented, it would be very cool if the application could collect, aggregate and then use information about what other users considered the "best route" ("Click here to recommend this route") when offering directions to future users.

How about it, Google? Beyond the whimsy of "I can see my house!" provided by Keyhole satellite pictures, I can't see myself relying on them very often. But maps made for walking? That'd be a step in the right direction.

Wednesday, April 6, 2005

If vaudeville ain’t dead, this’ll kill it

By request, a brief reprise of my impromptu Al Jolson number from SXSW:

MT, MT...
I'd rebuild a million files for new template styles...
My emmmmmm-teeeeee!

Getting to first base…

Tuesday, April 5, 2005

Picturing the Male

One of my favorite Flickr photo groups is Picturing the Male, a collection of images that seeks to explore the beauty of men. Nude or clothed, in many colors, shapes and sizes, it's a glimpse at just how many different types of boys there are out there.

Feed me…

I dabbled with it in the past, but with the advent of version 2.0 (now in public beta), I'm completely sold on NetNewsWire, a syndication reader that converts RSS and Atom feeds into a gorgeous digest of all the sites I love.

The latest beta build adds the promised synchronization feature—using .Mac or a personal FTP space—that keeps copies of NNW on multiple computers up to date. Since I find web-based applications for feed-reading cumbersome, that feature alone makes my registration fees money well spent.

Combined with the bundled MarsEdit for weblog editing, $39.95 is a cinch bargain for information junkies.

Saturday, April 2, 2005

My (under)wired website

If you dropped by yesterday, you might have noticed a few changes hereabout. Yes, by tradition, The BradLands was tranformed for a day into an altogether different site. This year, it was The BraLands, a tribute to the lacey, lovely foundation garment we all know and that some of us actually love.

Alas, All Fools Day 2005 has passed into mammary memory, but if you'd like to relive The BraLands experience, these screenshots of the site will have to suffice:

• The Front Page
• Must-See Double-D, this weblog
• The Daily Bra, featuring a rare "Conversation From the Bra Scene"

It was great fun (and surprisingly difficult) seeking out a few brassiere-related links for the weblog yesterday. Thanks to all the readers who played along and helped keep me abreast of fun things to link.

I was reminded yesterday that there have been a full seven years of April Fool japes here in The BradLands. That's a lot of foolery:

• 1999: Ethay entireyay itesay asway anslatedtray intoyay Igpay Atinlay orfay ethay ayday.
• 2000: The site heard Avon calling and became The BardLands
• 2001: The DrabLands re-rendered the entire site in monochrome
• 2002: What a sell-out I am! For 24 hours, this was The BrandLands
• 2003: A Bunch of groovy changes brought about The BradyLands
• 2004: A bit of fiction for the RSS-reading crowd: More Fool I

Next year? The wheels are already turning...

Friday, April 1, 2005

Miss Highrise, 36B

Speaking of television, here's a shoutout to a few famous brassieres (and other assorted imitators) featured in the plots of TV sitcoms and dramas.

We can't believe, however, that there's no mention of the manssiere (aka "The Bro"), made famous on Seinfeld. Hey, a man needs cross-your-heart support too!

Quote of the Day

"I wanted to be the first woman to burn her bra, but it would have taken the fire department four days to put it out." — Dolly Parton

Uplifting cinema

Here in The BraLands, we try to keep abreast of news from the world of entertainment, so we can't fathom how we missed the release of Chuet sai hiu bra (La Brassiere).

A wacky romp that begins with two men being hired by a women's garment company to design the ultimate bra, reviewers have described the film as "uplifting" and rave that stars "Lau Ching-wan and Louis Koo are a joy to watch."

Tonight, we'll be dropping by Blockbuster and skipping whatever else is on the boob tube to watch this flick!

A mighty fortress is our bra…

Here at The BraLands, we're agnostic when it comes to recommending foundation apparel, believing that fit, form and style are personal matters best left to the lady or gentleman-in-transition in question. But, such neutrality aside, we still got a chuckle from this joke submitted by a perky reader:

A man walked into the ladies' department of a Macy's and shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, "I'd like to buy a bra for my wife."

 "What type of bra?" asked the clerk. Type?" inquires the man, "There's more than one type?" "Look around," said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size, color and material imaginable.

"Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only four types of bra to choose from." Relieved, the man asked about the types.

The saleslady replied "There are the Catholic, the Salvation Army, the Presbyterian, and the Baptist types. Which one would you prefer? Now totally befuddled, the man asked about the differences between them.

The saleslady responded, "It is all really quite simple...The Catholic type supports the masses. The Salvation Army type lifts the fallen. The Presbyterian type keeps them staunch and upright, and the Baptist makes mountains out of mole hills."

Eleven herbs and spices? Nuh-uh…

So...exactly what is Victoria's secret?

History of the Brassiere

Bette Midler long ago put to rest myths about the colorful history of the "over-the-shoulder boulder holder", revealing in her fanciful song "Otto Titsling" the struggle between the titular (sorry) hero and the French scoundrel Phillipe de Brassiere.

In reality, however, the first practical and widely used bra was developed by Mary Phelps Jacob, a New York socialite frustrated by the uncomfortable and often humiliating foundation garmets of her day.

There were others who came before Ms. Jacob, however, and the true history of the bra is as colorful as Ms. Midler's lusty, busty tune.

Wonder of Wonders!

That boon to flat-chested gals (and a few rather odd guys), the Wonderbra, is celebrating its 10th anniversary! Knockers up, folks! Raise your cups in a toast to this miraculous undergarment.

Then ponder the fact that the Wonderbra is a product of the good folk at Sara Lee Intimate Apparel. Yes, Sara Lee, the same company that brings us heavenly desserts and pastries, wieners that plump when you cook 'em, men's underpants, and a dizzying array of other staples in our lives.

I guess it's true: Everybody doesn't like something, but nobody doesn't like Sara Lee.