Tuesday, January 25, 2005

Goodnight, Johnny…

I was home with my mom Sunday night when I heard that Johnny Carson had died, which was only fitting, since it was thanks to my permissive parents that I got to stay up late so often as a child and watch The Tonight Show. I think if I could pick an entertainment figure I'd most want to emulate, it would be Johnny Carson. "You should live your life"—I'm paraphrasing Mark Twain here—"such that when you go, even the undertaker will be sad." And that's exactly what it seems Carson did. If you've paid any attention at all to the various obituaries and tributes over the past couple of days, no one seems to have an unkind word for him, unusual in this day and age. It's hardly the usual deferential not speaking ill of the dead. Johnny Carson, it seems, was nothing but genuine and absolutely nice.

That was certainly my experience.

When I was nine years old, I knew with absolute certainty that I wanted to be a professional magician when I grew up. I'd read in some fan magazine or another that Johnny Carson had performed magic when he was younger and so, seeing him as a successful TV star and seeking advice for my future career, I sat down at my mother's tank of an IBM electric typewriter and hunted-and-pecked a note to him, enclosing a Polaroid photo of me holding a fanned deck of cards and wearing an absurdly oversized felt top hat.

Looking back as an adult, I would say the best I could have expected was a form letter or canned response sent by a flunky and mechanically signed. What I received instead a few weeks later was a handwritten two-page note, encouraging me to keep practicing my tricks, and an 8x10 personally autographed photo of Johnny Carson. I still have and treasure them both.

Several years later, I was in Los Angeles visiting a friend who worked at NBC whose office happened to be on the same lot as Carson's production company. While waiting for Marc to meet me for lunch, I glanced across the parking area and, in the distance, saw someone I was sure was Johnny Carson. He was chatting with someone and when his companion walked away, he looked up and almost directly at me. It was him! Impulsively, I raised my arm and waved vigorously. I almost immediately felt the fool but, to my astonishment, he waved back, smiled then turned and walked into a nearby building.

I never got to step through that rainbow-colored curtain. I never got to sit on the couch next to Ed McMahon and plug my latest book. I never got to hob-knob in the green room with Joan Embry and Charo. But Johnny Carson gave me career advice and Johnny Carson waved me a jaunty hello. I wish there was—as those colorful interstitial cards on TV used to say—"More to Come" but there's not.

Goodbye, Carnac the Magnificent. So long, Floyd C. Turbo and sayonara Art Fern. Goodnight, Johnny...and thanks.

Sunday, January 23, 2005

Ronan Julius Eaton

Welcome to the world, Ronan Julius Eaton, and congratulations with much love to mom and dad.

Thursday, January 20, 2005

The Pirate Movie on DVD

Give me a happy ending, every time! I would just like to point out for the benefit of a very specific half-dozen or so readers that The Pirate Movie will be released on DVD in March.

The 1982 teen-flick-slash-Gilbert-and-Sullivan-parody contains one of my favorite musical comedy rhymes ever, in its version of "The Major-General's Song", to wit:

I comprehend contemporary culture North American.
I've straightened more piratical erections than Bo Derek can.

Saucy wordplay like that, along with the shirtless Christopher Atkins factor, make this a must-own, must-see. My nearly worn-out VHS will soon be replaced.

Saturday, January 15, 2005

The Baby is back!

Last week we soft-launched the 2005 incarnation of a long tradition, the informal and thoroughly unofficial SXSW Baby! weblog. After some tweaking and retouching, the Baby is ready to stand on its own and once again be a place for Austin acolytes and those who are considering being a part of the SXSW experience to meet, chat and trade news and tips.

This year, in addition to a focus on the Interactive conference and festival, there are additional categories to discuss the Music and Film portions of the 10-day SXSW gig. There's also a place where folks wanting to share rides or rooms can hook up and, of course, the ever-popular Notes Exchange where, once things are underway, you can post or Trackback your notes on the various conference panels and share them with the world.

The Baby is growing, and there's plenty more to come. I'm going to work on integrating the archives from previous years—such as they are—and folks are stepping up to share their particular knowledge about SXSW. (For example, Kathryn Yu has written this great guide/call-to-action about SXSW Music that's making me wish I could stick around.)

Thanks to pb for all of his help in getting the Baby on its feet, to Movable Type for being simple enough that even I can use it to build something like this, and to Shiner Bock, the official beer in the belly of the builder, the Baby is back!

Friday, January 14, 2005

Honey, I shrunk the PVR

Travel, they say, broadens the mind, but sometimes while traveling, you're simply bivouacked in a hotel room watching TV. These are the times I miss my TiVo most. By this point, it's almost trite to say that having TiVo has spoiled me for watching television the "normal" way. Having spent the past few weeks in homes and hotels without its benefits, I've treasured the flexibility and convenience it offers at home all the more.

Which got me thinking: I'd love to have a portable personal video recorder, just something basic with RCA video and audio inputs and a small infrared remote control that I could plug into, say, a hotel TV and use to get basic TiVo functions while on the road. I wouldn't need fancy geegaws like the program guide or Season Passes, but having something that would let me pause TV by buffering 15 or 30 minutes, or to record short programs would be fantastic.

Last night, for example, as I was getting ready to go out and meet some friends for dinner, I was in the bathroom shaving and overheard something that interested me in a news report on the TV in the sitting room. WIth a half-shaven face, I rushed out to catch the end of the report but I'd missed the critical bit. What I would have given to be able to rewind three or four minutes and see it all. Then, just as I was leaving, an obscure cable channel—one I don't receive at home—began a documentary I'd have loved to watch. How cool would it have been to hit a button and have it waiting for me when I returned. Instead, my insomnia was sated with a diet of infomercials.

Let's just say I've been even more twitchy to be TiVo-less when visiting the ancestral Graham homestead, where even the DVD player is a fairly recent acquisition.

How hard would this be for someone like Griffin or Belkin to make as an iPod add-on? The iPod already has a capacious hard drive and a fast Firewire interface. Make something that snaps on the bottom with composite video plugs and maybe a remote and voila! It's a portaPVR. I'd shell out a couple hundred bucks for that and, if it went both ways, such that you could stream recorded shows from home (transferred to your iPod with Tivo-To-Go) to the hotel TV while you're on the road, I bet a lot of folks would pony up for one.

For that matter, memory and hard drive space are so relatively cheap these days, how long do you suppose it'll be—if it hasn't happened already and I admit to not having researched this—before television manufacturers begin including some basic PVR-type functions in the TVs themselves? A 1 gigabyte Compact Flash card in a TV and the necessary electronics wouldn't add that much to the base cost of a unit and would make live TV buffering, pausing and rewinding, at least, a standard TV function.

Any geeks out there wanna build a portable PVR and make millions? I've got the first few hundred in my wallet right here.

Thursday, January 13, 2005

If you can find me, I’m here…

I've arrived in balmy Chicago and am safely billeted in my usual luxurious Lakeview hostelry. I remind certain gentlemen that we'll be having an informal glass-raising and feed tomorrow evening.

If you too have come to the city to enjoy the warmth (and here I speak of the disposition of the citizenry, not the temperature), you're sure to spot me knocking about a Caribou or Chipotle shop. And I'll be making a pilgrimage to newly-reopened Hot Doug's, because it's been too long since I had a good wiener in this town.

Oh shut up.

I'm staying away from the malls, though. I do anyway, as a matter of course, but apparently yesterday one blowed up real good near here.

Exploding malls? That's gotta be good for those post-Christmas retail doldrums.

Monday, January 10, 2005

Ban Comic Sans

How to ban Comic Sans from your life. Thanks, Dan!

Wednesday, January 5, 2005

Fortunately, he does look good…

He's had an alien probe shish kebob his leg to the hull of the Enterprise. He's faced cranky reptiles keen on destroying the Earth. He's even gotten kicked around by a few hellbent mutant humans.

But 15 years ago, Dominic Keating—aka the dashing Lt. Malcolm Reed from Star Trek: Enterprise—faced humankind's most pernicious threat:

Split ends.

Alternate titles considered for this entry: "Set phasers on Conair", "Oh yeah? You try saying 'U.S.S. Salon Sassoon' three times fast", and "Perhaps gayer than Mr. Mott and Garak combined..."

Tuesday, January 4, 2005

SXSW 2005—I’m There

I feared I might have to sit this one out. It's taken some creative accounting and juggling of other obligations, but I decided today that SXSW Interactive 2005 won't happen without me. Once again, I'll be south of the boredom in Austin, Texas—my third home—from March 11–15 to soak up all the great energy that makes this trip my favorite getaway every year.

Of course, that means that I'll be hosting the Fifth-and-a-half Annual Break Bread With Brad SXSW Edition on Friday, March 11. Things will be a little different this year, but the gist is the same: good food, ample drink (first Shiner on me), dubious door prizes and the company of the best looking, smartest and funniest geeks you've ever met. Mark your calendar and plan to arrive in Austin by Friday evening. You don't want to miss this one. (Further bulletins as details coalesce. Also, once I've tamed the rest of this site, there'll be a new BBWB section with info on past and future events.)

I can't wait.

I am in love with Lulu

Friends recently introduced me to a comic that's become a new favorite. It's Lulu Eightball by illustratrix Emily Flake.



Check it out! It's BradLands approved!

Under construction

In case you couldn't guess, I'm redecorating a bit. Things are going to be a little higgledy-piggledy for a while. I apologize for the inconvenience. Dig we must!

Update: Well, I accidentally deleted a rather important image directory—I'll restore it tomorrow—and I'm aware that the old, old archives are totally screwed up. Sooner or later, all of the old content will be migrated to the Movable Type database and flow more or less nicely into the new template.

Also, please note that a lot of links still don't work and no sections of the site other than this weblog and The Daily Brad are on the new design.

But I'm getting there. And remembering just why I only redesign this site once every three or four years.

Sunday, January 2, 2005

Ya Say Ya Wanna Resolution? (2005)

A few things I'll be keeping in mind to keep me in line in 2005.

• This year, I will spend more on dry cleaning than dry champagne.


• I will try not to make too much of the fact that there are some bartenders in at least five different cities who know me by name and preferred beverage.


• I will stop shopping for new bedroom furniture and actually buy some.


• I will develop a good post-workout cooldown strategy. Of course, this will mean actually working out to begin with.


• I will ask out the cute guy at the Kiehl's counter and I will not make one single "clever" remark involving the word "facial" in the process.


• I will endeavor, as promised, to encourage Tagert to leave the bar by midnight on Tuesdays. I will not, however, commit to midnight in a specific time zone.


• I'll get that looked at.


• I will organize my home office, at least to the point where the tangle of cords behind the desk doesn't look like a warning illustration from Underwriter's Laboratories.


• I won't wait until it's my turn to buy a round.


• Eight years is probably long enough. I'll be adult about it and give him a call.


• I will host more dinner parties. By which I mean at least one.


• I'll finally confess to my mother what I mean when I say all my money is tied up in CDs.


• I will eat vegetables other than the ones that are used to garnish my drinks.


• I won't back down.


• I won't back up either.


• I will back my friends. As always. With love.