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Tuesday, December 5, 2000

Chad’s hand jobs

A little flashback lunacy from my friend Mark...
Emily: What all this legal fuss about hand jobs? The Democrats want hand jobs. The Republicans don't want hand jobs. The Florida Secretary of State rules hand jobs don't count. The Florida Supreme Court rules hand jobs do count, and gives an extra ten days to complete hand jobs. Palm Beach County doesn't finish its hand jobs in time. Broward County does. Miami-Dade County starts hand jobs, then stops.

Then today the U.S. Supreme Court remands the hand job question back to the Florida Supreme Court, stating that the rules that govern hand jobs must come from the Florida legislature, and not the Florida constitution. If this guy Chad wants to give hand jobs to every voter in Florida, isn't this a private matter? Why are all these courts involved?

Chevy Chase: Miss Latella, that's hand counts. The courts are deciding the validity of hand counts.

Emily: Oh. Never mind.
December 5, 2000 at 11:03 PM |
Categories: General

General Tomfoolery

There was a commercial on TV last night for "Flonase". There's a product with a name that actually sounds like what it does: flow nase. An onomatopoetic drug is kind of cool.

The funny thing about the commercial, though, was that it featured a lab-coated gentleman extolling the virtues of the medication. Instead of the usual small type at the bottom of the screen explaining that, although this gentleman was not a real doctor but was, in fact, an actor portraying the surveyed recommendations of dozens of doctors, there it was in large, bright white letters by his head: "DOCTOR DRAMATIZATION."

I assume he practices at Reenactment General.
December 5, 2000 at 2:25 PM |
Categories: Half-Baked Humor

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