Saturday, January 30, 1999

Niggardly

All this time, I've been duped into believing in the importance of using the English language properly to advance in one's career. Now, I suppose, it's necessary to consider you can be forced to resign for speaking to well.

How do you track an internet meme? Here's how. (Pass it on.)

Tuesday, January 26, 1999

Think diff’rent!

Last night on the radio, I heard what may be the official papal parody song, an ape of the Dixie Chicks' "Wide Open Spaces" lamenting the fact there're "No Parking Spaces" in downtown St. Louis while the Pope's around.

Welcome CamWorld readers! Swell guy and fellow weblogger Cameron links Ye Olde BradLands right there on his front page, now sporting a fresh design. Also today, he meditates on what makes a weblog. (Zoiks! Do I still qualify?)

Laffs! PeterMe gave me a giggle, sayin' "Think diff'rent!"

The Brunching Shuttlecocks (hey! congrats on winning Cool Humor Site o' the Year guys!) continue to weigh in on the relative worth of Schoolhouse Rock ditties. [The first pronouncement]

Friday, January 22, 1999

“Look busy. The Pope is coming.”

"Look busy. The Pope is coming." — Marquee at Vintage Vinyl (nee Varsity Theatre)

REALLY?! The Pope is coming?!? St. Louis has gone Pope-crazy. The man is stopping by for a two-day "pastoral visit," a few prayer services and public appearances. In preparation, nearly every downtown and Central West End street is closed, local media are blanketed with Pope-related (and loosely related) coverage and 9,000 bits of Papal merchandise are being hawked in every retail venue.

[Merchandising tie-in I wish I'd thought of sooner: Pope-on-a-Rope. Slogan: "Wash away your sins! Lather. Rinse. Repent."]

Last week, billboards went up along all of the area's major highways — the same highways predicted to impassable for 48 hours — essentially saying "The Pope is dropping by." Who are these billboards for?! Who doesn't know this?!?

My favorite bit of Pope-related trivia: They actually call his little parade car the "Pope-mobile." I mean, I've heard visiting representatives from the Vatican call it that. I always figured that was just a media nickname. Hmmm.

CLEARING THE CACHE: Random links I've been saving up...

A somewhat irreverent, mostly literate new webzine, Impression.

OK, to paraphrase James Lileks, can we all stop partying like it's 1999? I mean, c'mon, it is 1999. A look back at the creation of the millenium's unlikely anthem.

Now how often have I pondered where urinal science is taking us? Well, now I know.

So, I'm stuck at home over the holidays, desperate for distraction by anything that didn't have to do with waiting rooms and intensive care units. What happens? I end up watching National Lampoon's Vegas Vacation (ugh!) on cable and discovering my latest crush, the snack-a-licious Ethan Embry.

Dilbert is serious business.

I don't make New Year's resolutions anymore. But folks at the Fray do. What's yours?

Selections from Salon:

• The Hollywood tourists never see.
• When does "community" not mean community? Usually when it's applied to the Internet.
• Is Starbucks trying to stealthily muscle in on the neighborhood cybercafe action?

Friday, January 15, 1999

Running out of conversation topics to distract my mother

Ken: "We've got to get rid of the Christmas tree. It's so dead, even a heated conversation could set it off."

Brad: "Yeah, it's so dry, it's threatening to go on tour in Hello, Dolly!."

Ahoy! Well, technically, my promise to resume updates after January 1 wasn't broken. It's just a wee bit farther past that I expected or would prefer it to have been. Still, the logs tell me visitors haven't abandoned The BradLands over the long holiday hiatus, and I thank you all for faithfully checking back to see what, if anything, was new.

WHERE I'VE BEEN: It's an adventure that isn't over and one I'm sure to write about at greater length later on. My father has been hospitalized since the day before the night before Christmas; he has had difficulty breathing since a paralyzed lung muscle was diagnosed in late April and this most recent in-patient stay is an extension of that, possibly an indicator of a different, even more chronic condition.

My father hates to stay in the hospital...this is a common trait of the Graham men. He gets restless, he becomes agitated...which only serves to aggravate a shortness of breath. So it was that on Christmas Eve, his breathing and his heart stopped — thankfully for only a few minutes — but long enough that once he was revived, it necessitated placing him on a respirator to ensure his continued breathing.

It's now more than three weeks since he was admitted for what my mother and I both assumed would be a short stay. He has been transferred to a special care hospital here in St. Louis and mom is bunking at my house. We have all begun the slow, staggering process of "weaning" dad from the ventilator and back to a standard oxygen delivery system.

The outlook — if long — is promising. My father is 78 years old, strong as a proverbial ox and, although he can't speak for the tube in his throat, he is no doubt cussing us all out in his mind for putting on such a fuss and compiling a running tally of invective in re: hospitalization to deliver once his voice returns.

For my part, I'm fine. Tired, but fine. Overworked, but fine. Running out of conversation topics to distract my mother, but fine.

I have a few links — likely all old news by now — that I'll post in a day or so. (The past few weeks have moved to the archive.) Meanwhile, thanks for all the (virtual) cards and letters, kids. Updates will continue to be sporadic, but as some semblance of normalcy returns to my life, so too will it inform The BradLands.

Sunday, December 27, 1998

Please stand by

"On each race is laid the duty to keep alight its own lamp of mind as its part in the illumination of the world. To break the lamp of any people is to deprive it of its rightful place in the world festival." — Rabindranath Tagore, Indian Poet (1861-1941) [Rabindra Rachonabali]

I regret that personal business is going to take me out of town for about a week. Updates of The BradLands will likely resume after January 1, 1999.

Thanks for taking the time to stop by. Please accept my best wishes for a happy, healthy and prosperous new year.

Your feedback is, as always, welcomed and appreciated.

Monday, December 21, 1998

Come for the weblog, stay for the pie!

THE BRADLANDS: Come for the Weblog, Stay for the Pie!

As the holiday frenzy increases, don't expect another update until after Christmas. Meanwhile, take the chance to check out the archives or visit some of the other folks hosting personal portals.

And, if you're so inclined, drop me a line and let me know how you're celebrating the season.

I'VE GOT MAIL: Speaking of corrrespondence, I apologize if you've written in the past couple of weeks and haven't received a reply. Some of my mail got filtered into a mailbox I don't check as often as I should. I'll do my best to catch up the backlog in the next day or so.

FINALLY! THE WEATHER OUTSIDE IS FRIGHTFUL: I guess Ma Nature was just waiting for the solstice, since bitter cold and a smattering of sleet arrived right on cue. Me, I'm ready for it. The past few weeks of warm temps have been pleasant, but hey, it's winter: bring on the snow!

I'm—literally—dreaming of a white Christmas. Last night, I had a very vivid dream about being snowbound in a mountaintop cabin. Details are fuzzy, but it sort of looked like a holiday episode of Grizzly Adams. At least the cabin was equipped with food and survival essentials, but more importantly, a tastefully decorated tree.

CITY SIDEWALKS, BUSY SIDEWALKS: I've more or less completed my holiday shopping (and managed to do it all without setting foot in a mall or major retail chain store), although I've made a few excursions over the past few evenings for odds and ends. I never intentionally put off shopping until the last minute, but the scurry for a parking space aside, I truly enjoy the bustling atmosphere among the procrastinators.

There's something about the general mien of the maddening crowd that I find intoxicating. It's odd: as many shoppers become surly or unseasonably antagonistic, I unconsciously head the other direction. I become "hyper-merry." I smile at everyone, say "please," "thank you" and "Merry Christmas" to every clerk and fellow shopper. Tonight, I helped an astonished woman to her car with her parcels; at the grocery, I let two people with fewer items than I ahead of me in line. I hope the attitude is infectious...at least a few people seem to inherit my smile. The rest of the year, I may be Julia Sugarbaker, but at Christmas, I'm pure Caroline Duffy.

And now, I'm up at 5:30 a.m. to bake cookies for work. Somebody stop me before I become Martha Stewart.

ON THE SUBJECT OF HOLIDAYS: Here's one I can get behind. C'mon, everybody, get goofy with it!

FORGET QUAKE! Here's the ultimate confrontational game and sure-fire strategies to devastate your opponent. It's The Official Rock-Paper-Scissors Strategy Guide!

Wednesday, December 16, 1998

“Sin? Sure!”

HOLIDAY PARTY POSTSCRIPT: The roomie and I had our annual Holiday Wing-Ding last Sunday. The usual drill: come lift a glass and fill a plate with us, but bring a toy or two for a kid in East St. Louis. We have such generous friends and neighbors; gathered close to 300 presents to brighten the Christmas of some very cute kids. Thanks to one and all!

Meanwhile, Jon Carroll makes some astute observations about the perils of holiday parties, ours included. [San Francisco Chronicle]

WEBSITE AWOL: Does anyone have any clues on where to find a website for First Night St. Louis? I know they have one, but danged if a good hour's worth of searching can turn it up. If you know where to find it, let me know. Thanks!

ASK ME ABOUT MY DAY: In a nutshell, yesterday was all about networking. Not the cheesy, 90s, "let's get a bunch of dubiously interesting yuppies together at a cocktail party and chat and call it networking" networking. I'm talking about real, honest-to-goodness, homemade Ethernet like grandma used to make.

It began at work when our systems consultant showed up unexpectedly (these things happen from time to time) and I resolved on the spur of the moment that this very day would be the one: the shining moment when My Macs, come hell or high water, were connected to The Network.

Until yesterday, my pitiable Macintosh network had been shunned, segregated from the Great and Powerful Office LAN because the consulting company we hired didn't do Macs. (My two Macs vs. 20-some PCs was not a compelling case for finding another company.)

But by God, we did it! Matt, the boyish consultant who doesn't do Macs and I, who does scarcely anything else, just started plugging RJ-45 cable into any port that was handy, fired up some Macintosh services on the hulking Windows NT server box, telnetted and ping'ed a bit, prayed to the oracle at www.MacWindows.com, and when the dust cleared, voila! I'm surfing the 'net and sharing files in the blaring fast lanes of 10BaseT.

Thus inspired and having accomplished no "real" work on the day, I headed home and resolved on the spur of the moment that this very night would be the one: the shining moment when I finally ripped open all those boxes of cabling and equipment and installed the Ethernet LAN at home.

And by God, I did that too. Admittedly, it was much simpler...the hardest part being finding the Phillips head screwdriver to secure the PCI card in Gromit, the desktop Mac, but I feel a real sense of accomplishment. By the end of the week, with a little more industry and the help of the friendly folks at Small Dog Electronics, I will be able to write an update for The BradLands on my PowerBook before retiring for the night, jack into the convenient Ethernet port at bedside and squirt the pages over to Gromit for tweaking come daylight. After the holidays, the Mac Yet to Come will become my primary Internet computer and it too will join The Great Link, along with my Newton MessagePad. Think of the ease of use. Think of the harmony.

Think to yourself, "Geez, Brad's a geek of the highest order."

THAT'S IT. I'M OFFICIALLY NO LONGER INTERESTED: As a news junkie, ordinarily the drama that the Clinton presidency has become — particularly over the last 24 hours — would have me riveted. But you know how much of the impeachment brouhaha or Iraq-bombing bits I've taken in? Hardly a whit, save for Noah Adams and Linda Wertheimer essentially announcing they knew nothing for sure about Iraq and everyone thinks Clinton is pulling a Wag the Dog. It was maybe the least informative 30 minutes of NPR I've ever heard, and as I pulled up in front of the house after the drive from work, I was glad to switch it off.

Clinton lied. Fine. Kick him out. Or don't. Just stop all the bellyaching, do something and break for Christmas.

Face it: all politicians lie and, the last time I checked, they all take an oath of office of one sort or another. Ergo, every sad, sorry SOB sitting in judgment of or defending our fair president has lied under oath. (And there are probably more adulterers in the Congress than in the entire NFL.)

So, I repeat: Impeach him. Or don't. Censure him. (Note to many, many local broadcasters: It's not "censor." If it helps, think, "Sin? Sure!") Or don't. Until everyone's done hurling bombs, sanctimoniously holding forth on moral order and fucking with the prime time TV schedule, I have had quite enough.

THE BATTLE FOR PARADISE, take two: I wish Lileks could archive his Daily Bleats sooner rather than later, since his thoughts in toto on Star Trek: Insurrection a day or so back were essentially mine as well. In lieu of that, however, I shall point out that The Self-Made Critic has really nailed the best way to rate a Trek flick. [Brunching Shuttlecocks]

AND ON THE SUBJECT OF MOVIES: Cameron (and friends) have a few gripes about the way computers, the Internet and other conveniences of the modern world are portrayed in motion pictures. [CamWorld]

Friday, December 11, 1998

Of course, there were some inexplicably silly bits too

THE BATTLE FOR PARADISE: Saw Star Trek: Insurrection last night and thoroughly enjoyed the ride. There was a little something for everyone: humor, romance, irreverence and some dig-it space battle scenes. Of course, there were some inexplicably silly bits too (who knew the Enterprise could be steered with a joystick? what was Worf doing there in the first place?) See it...and then start speculating about Star Trek X.

I know, I know: I promised an update yesterday and it wasn't here. I've let you down, faithful readers—both of you—and I feel just awful about it. Really, I do. What can I do to make it up to you?

OK, let's get down to business...as usual, clearing the cache. First, some highlights from other logs:

Jesse Garrett points out a nifty NASA site that tracks our aspirations toward FTL travel in a language even a layman can more or less follow. It's called "Warp Drive When?" [via JJG]

Here's a comprehensive archive of links to bizarre and interesting news stories, The Flummery Digest. [heads up from Camworld]

Jorn has been linking a lot of first chapters online lately, and more and more have been appearing. It's one of the best uses of the Internet to develop interest in a product. Check out The Science of the X-Files. [tip o' the hat to Robot Wisdom]

Finally, Dan Lyke creates the most compelling reason to have CSPAN since Brian Lamb thoughtfully gave us BookTV. It's The Political Hearings Drinking Game!!! [via Flutterby]

Holiday Shopping: It may be a bit late for Christmas delivery without a hefty shipping charge, but there's lots of fun schtuff to be had from Archie McPhee and Edmund Scientific.

Weblog Watch: Steve Bogart is still taking a well-deserved hiatus from updating his News, Pointers & Commentary, but he's already at work on his new webhome, NowThis.

As the year winds down, the voting is on for Cool Site of the Year. In the personal category, it's worth noting that while I'm not nominated, Jamie Zawinski is. And we should all vote for him.

Gentle reader....do you know the do's and don'ts of good e-mail etiquette? [New York Times]

Wednesday, December 9, 1998

All work, no play

COMING SOON: Live@30, ruminations and reflections on the Fourth Decade.

Busy, busy, busy: I'm soldiering through a bout of pre-holiday traumatic stress syndrome, which essentially translates into "all work, no play" making Brad a boy who doesn't have time to properly adorn The BradLands. But fear not: I'm setting aside a whole five minutes tomorrow to disgorge a load of weekend reading.

And, heaven help me, I'm contemplating a site redesign again. Suggestions welcome.

Thursday, December 3, 1998

Black-market Furbies

THUMBNAIL REVIEW: Saw Vince Gill's Christmas show at the Kiel Center last night. He was still recovering from the flu or a cold, but even with a little tickle in his throat, his kick-ass tenor voice wrapped around "I'll Be Home for Christmas" put me in a holiday mood, snow or no snow. (You can read my full review—minus the phrase "kick-ass tenor"—in Saturday's Post-Dispatch.)

Tonight: Neil Diamond, also at the Kiel. (Review appears Sunday.)

@%!@*?!-begone: The TV Guardian, a device that reads the close-caption encoding from TV shows and automatically bleeps "naughty" words (from a list of about 100), apparently still has some kinks in it:

When they ran the program through an old sitcom, "Dick Van Dyke" came out "Jerk Van Gay." "We laughed about it for days," Bray said. The way around it was to program the box to search for certain watch words preceding the questionable language - words such as "a," "those" and "of." It's the same way the box screens out "Oh my God" while leaving "God in heaven" untouched. [Post-Dispatch Wires]

But THIS I want! AppleInsider (nee Macintosh News Network's Reality) has a nice capsule about the fabled Macintosh "Consumer Portable." I hate the name, but LOVE the form factor. It's basically a pumped up MessagePad with a keyboard and an iMac motherboard. No confirm or deny from Cupertino, but I'll be quick on line to test drive anything that's close to this. [AppleInsider]

Where Are They Now? Speaking of Apple insiders, back when I was PEEKing and POKEing around with my Apple ][, I would anxiously await each issue of InCider magazine. The name is such a great pun on "Apple," it's a shame there's no Mac mag or e-zine taking advantage of it. Incider.com exists, but only as an empty directory. Notions, anyone?

Cache-ing up on my reading: Someday, I hope to again have the time to read the newspaper on the very day that it's published. As it is, there's a minimum three-day lag in my consumption of the "dead-trees dailies." Herewith, three gems from last Sunday's New York Times (free registration required):

Sondheim's 'Follies': The Uncut Version: I've waited a long time for this CD, and my personal assessment jibes with Holden's. It's nice to have a seminal recording of this remarkable show, but for pure verve, I prefer my expurgated Follies in Concert album.
Where There's Life After 'the End': A look at how end credits ended up at the end after "The End" of modern movies.
Tailoring the Music to Fit Each Late Show Guest: I've been playing this game for a long time with Paul Shaffer, seeing if I could "name that tune" as guests made their way to Dave's side. Alas, I can't stay up late enough to see Max Weinberg's chops.

Furby mutilation is running rampant on the 'net: Exhibit A, the Furby Autopsy. And Exhibit B, FUBAR Furby, a Shockwave travesty. (Now, watch me start getting tons of hits and then hate mail from folks seeking black-market Furbies — Furbii? — with search keywords. Ack!)

Monday, November 30, 1998

World AIDS Day

"Unless a man has been taught what to do with success after getting it, the achievement of it must inevitably leave him a prey to boredom." — Bertrand Russell

Today is World AIDS Day. Learn more about A Day Without Art, the artistic and web communities' response to the AIDS pandemic.

For eight years, I worked with The NAMES Project AIDS Memorial Quilt at the local, regional and national level. Today, I encourage you to see the Quilt and understand.

Wednesday, September 16, 1998

September 17, 1998

"Experience without theory is blind, but theory without experience is mere intellectual play." -- Immanuel Kant

Just finished reading: The Catch Trap by Marion Zimmer Bradley. Now in the middle of: Media Circus: The Trouble With America's Newspapers. Added to the to-read stack: Gossip by Christopher Bram; The Men From the Boys by William J. Mann; and The Best Little Boy in the World Grows Up by Andrew Tobias (nee John Reid).

I can't say I'm terribly impressed with The New Hollywood Squares. Whoopi Goldberg is funny, but she's just going through the motions here. She's certainly no Paul Lynde, but then, who is? And, "Rosie O'Donnell to block" is no replacement for Rose Marie. (In St. Louis, you can see the travesty at 11:35 p.m. on Channel 4.) Maybe I should subscribe to the Game Show Channel, where George Gobel lives!

Macintosh columnist and inveterate smart-ass Andy Ihnatko has landed over at MacCentral with a weekly gig. His hilarious supersite Colossal Waste of Bandwidth is still homeless, but promised to return soon.

A problem for the Information Age: What happens to your files after you die? A surviving daughter contemplates what to do with her dearly departed dad's disks.

Burning Man 1998 is now a memory, and Halcyon, one of the Internet's most compelling egos has his own photo album and reflections from what passes for the counterculture this decade.

Another empty promise? The Daily Instigator sez it's finally going live on Monday. Will it be worth the wait?

<SITENEWS> The Ice Rhapsody page has been updated, with new photos and news of the team's exciting win at ISI. </SITENEWS>

Wednesday, August 26, 1998

Young and sexy recreational drug users encouraged to apply.

Future-schlock? "The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn." — Alvin Toffler

Sorry, sorry, sorry. Lately my brain just hasn't had all the RAM it needs to run many applications simultaneously, and this website is the process that got dumped. I'll try to do better as my life settles down appreciably for the fall. Your patience over the past couple of weeks is, as always, appreciated.

So, let's clear the cache (short takes on links I've been accumulating):

This web-based guide to, well, everything fancies itself the Earth-bound equivalent of The Hitch-hiker's Guide to the Galaxy, but in recent weeks, it's become less promising as a concept and more of a geek-clique inside joke club. Oh well.

A nice gathering of short pieces and essays by progressive writers, performance artists and assorted others, all bearing Witness.

Esprit descalier gotcha down? Coulda, shoulda, woulda-pangs? Come up too late with the witty or bitchy retort to the devastating personal affront just dealt you? There's hope! So There.

A nice, short profile of writer David Sedaris, bard of the bitter. [LA Weekly]

It happened in Nashville, where he recently appeared on a local variety show. "I was on with somebody who made fish out of scrap metal," he recalls, "and an elderly couple who had just won Fabio's I Can't Believe It's Not Butter Romance Competition. They were in their mid-80s, and they got up there, and they said, 'When we were first contacted with the news that we had won the Fabio's I Can't Believe It's Not Butter Romance Competition, Curtis and I were just floored!' And then, 'We're going next weekend with the other four finalists of the Fabio's I Can't Believe It's Not Butter Romance Competition on a cruise!' And 'On the following Sunday we will announce the final winner of the Fabio's I Can't Believe It's Not Butter Romance Competition!' I was just beside myself. I wanted to ask them, like, 'How many times are you going to say I can't believe it's not butter?'"

From the Department of Ridiculous Double-Standards: A Sandy-Eggo newspaper rejected an advertisement for a new movie because the ad contained a picture of two guys apparently about to kiss. Puh-leeze. [San Francisco Examiner]

What's the deal with all of these dreadful lesbian hairstyles? [Washington Post]

I've said it before and I'll say it again (and apparently Jon Carroll agrees with me): the best way to get people to watch local TV news is to make it local and to make damn sure it's news. [San Francisco Chronicle]

Quite fun: A top-notch Matt Drudge parody-portal, The Drudge Retort.

Monica, Schmonica: You want an interesting practicum? Try interning for the King of the Gonzos. Fear and Loathing, indeed. [P.O.V.]

Wanted: Editorial Assistant job description: Must enjoy late-night hot-tubbing, chain-smoking, binge dessert eating, drinking hard alcohol, mixing margaritas and driving large cars in a reckless manner. Should be able to withstand frequent yelling and loud noises, unintelligible rantings, and handle firearms and exploding targets with ease. Knowledge of soft porn a plus. Curiosity about the limits of sleep deprivation helpful. Knowledge of housecleaning and faxing imperative. Young and sexy recreational drug users encouraged to apply.

I WANT MY WTV: The Brunchers look at the line-up on the new cable web, White House TV. [Brunching Shuttlecocks]

Tuesday, August 4, 1998

On what? On fire?

"Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?" — Rita Rudner

Oh, where to begin, where to begin? Well, first off, an apology to both of my faithful readers for the long hiatus. Work, work and rehearsal for the play have intruded on the time I'd alloted for writing pithy intros to weblinks this past week or so. The show goes up on Thursday, so things should calm considerably. Stay tuned!

Big news on the TV front: I've seldom laughed harder than when watching the British comedy improv "game show" Whose Line Is It Anyway? which used to run here in the States on cable's Comedy Central. Now Drew Carey is bringing the show (and a chunk of its cast) across the pond for a summer tryout on ABC. Woohoo! (Since many of the cast will be Brits, this English-to-English translation guide might be helpful.)

Toaster oven, anyone?: As you know, we homosexuals are a wily breed (ahem!), and hell-bent on converting as many hapless heteros as we can. There's even an incentive program — sort of like S&H Green Stamps. And now, someone besides Ellen DeGeneres has taken note: '98 Homosexual-Recruitment Drive Nearing Goal [The Onion]

Of course, our competition is equally keen on converts to "their side," and it appears their message of E-Z change sexuality is gaining some currency, too: Juice: Make Me a Lesbian [Orlando Weekly]

Wrong Answer: Has this ever happened to you? [Brunching Shuttlecocks]

Philip Michaels is the hands-down funniest smartass on the Web (present company excluded, natch. He even manages to stand (barely) above the rest of The Vidiots, the zany crew who produce TeeVee. You can follow his travails at Philip Michaels: The Loser Chronicles — where his current essay, "Service Economy, My Ass!" is rocking the house, or browse vintage Philip in this early Intertext Your Guide to High School Hate.

Electronic "books" are a bad idea, at least in their current conception, writes Jakob Nielson. I agree that the whole book metaphor is wrong for electronic distribution of literature, but — metaphors aside — you will never get me to give up real live books! Jean-Luc didn't! [Alertbox]

Sunday, July 19, 1998

For the last time

"I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain." — Carol Leifer

"Don't spend two dollars to dry clean a shirt. Donate it to the Salvation Army instead. They'll clean it and put it on a hanger. Next morning buy it back for seventy-five cents." — William Coronel

"I worry that the person who thought up Muzak may be thinking up something else." — Lily Tomlin

For the Last Time: Yep, the skeptics—which included just about everyone except some of the more gullible on-line and traditional media—were right. The "Our First Time" soon-to-be-former-virgins were hoaxters after all. The site's host ISP posted a wrap-up. (On the other hand, we may yet discover that even the hoax was a hoax and all a publicity grab by the ISP. Wouldn't surprise me in the least.) "Mike" is still a hottie, though.

Incidentally, the controversial site's supposed brain-man was Ken Tipton, a former St. Louis area actor (or, as his bio avers: "[He] grew up in the small St. Louis suburb of St. Charles, Missouri.")

Meanwhile, Time Magazine finally got around to running the look at Missouri transgender politics that reporter John Cloud visited here months ago to research, featuring fellow PREP board member Shannon Ware. [Time]

There may be redress for we spam-drenched wretches yet: Seattle man makes spammer pay [Seattle Times]

Sam Williams suggests Hollywood take on the potential armageddon behind Y2K. Let us hope that Sandra Bullock is available. [Upside]

MacWindows has turned out to be a particularly useful site for helping my marketing Macs survive and thrive in the realm of COCA's peecee/Novell network. Props, too, to Three Macs and a Printer.

Site News: Some added info on the bio page, the reprise of a popular sidebar from the original BradLands site, and general tweaking all around. Oh yeah, and despite the fact I want to keep these pages quick to load, I'm experimenting with the graphic header and other bits here and there. Thoughts?

Saturday, July 18, 1998

David Remnick is in

"Brad is kind of hard to describe. He's like a cross between Nathaniel West and Mae West." — someone describing me at a recent party, to which I was not invited.

Maybe there isn't a First Time for everything: New revelations about Our First Time fortify original suspicions that the planned public deflowering of two "teens" is, in fact, a big ol' hoax:

• The Web's sacrificial virgins [Salon]
• A tangled Web for virgins site [Salon]
• Teens to Lose Virginity Online — Or Are They? [Netly News]
• And, of course, the inevitable parody site.

I will say this, though: But for the black box covering his head, that "Mike" is kind of cute. <grin>

I'm a bit behind the curve on this, so by now pretty much everyone who cares knows that senior writer David Remnick is in as the new editor of The New Yorker. [Washington Post]

This is a good thing. While I was intrigued to imagine what Spy's Kurt Anderson would have done at the helm of "maybe the best magazine that ever was" (Harrison Salisbury), and I'm fairly overjoyed that weasly Michael Kinsley didn't get the nod, I think Remnick will bring some of the literary cachet and edgy zip the magazine's been missing in the Brown years.

I mean, I liked most of the pop accessibility Tina Brown brought to The New Yorker, but the pendulum had begun to swing too far. And while Remnick promises "some radical changes" and the buzz that we may be facing fortnightly publication rather than weekly (as has been expected for some time), I'm fairly hopeful about the long-term prospects.

Some random weekend reading:

I recently rewatched the movie Clue (Madeline Kahn is great!), but—musical theatre fanatic though I am—I had no idea there was a stage musical. The plot is quite different from the movie (some would say thankfully), but it looks like fun.

Only 18 months remain until we see if the Y2K problem is much of a problem. Forbes wonders if, in addition to our ATMs going wonky and the national power grid suffering some glitches, we might have to worry about the former Soviet Union raining nuclear death upon us for want of a couple of digits. [Forbes]

The Vidiots are gearing up to present the best and worst of the 1997-98 TV season, as only they can. The fun continues all next week. [TeeVee, multi-part episodic]

The Education of Little Geek: I spent a fair amount of my adolescence noodling around programming Apple ][, Texas Instruments and (God help me) TRS-80 computers. Greg Knauss recalls his days as a starry-eyed game writer with dreams of fame and fortune in this on-going 8-bit memoir. [An Entirely Other Day, multi-part episodic]

Friday, July 17, 1998

NewHoo debut

Sign of the Times? Spotted on a Methodist church in the Central West End: "Sun Worship 11 am"

I'm Re-reading Sedaris: "Snowball just leads elves on, elves and Santas. He is playing a dangerous game." — from "Santaland Diaries"

The Daily Instigator Watch continues. ("Not as late as Windows 98")

...and The Loser Chronicles seem to have gone AWOL. Any sightings?

A new weblog appears, nice looking and substantive (although not recently updated). Say hello to Pigs and Fishes. [Heads up from Robot Wisdom]

Apple Computer is doing just fine, thankyouverymuch, with 3rd quarter profits that have even former naysayers ceasing their search for adjective synonyms for "beleaguered." Meanwhile, it looks like Tom Hanks is gonna play Steve Jobs in the movie! [Daily Variety]

The proprietor of the impressive Obscure Store & Reading Room has an equally impressive account of his observations at the Jeffrey Dahmer trial. [Obscure Store]

An Internet Directory to Watch: The volunteer-built NewHoo. (Editors wanted!)

A concise and cogent debriefing of the recent Supreme Court decency in the arts ruling, by a writer who clearly "gets" Karen Finley. [Kansas City Star]

Build your own supercomputer, for fun and profit. [Lotus.dev, heads up from my buddy Chris]

Assume the missionary position with these wacky tracts. [Brunching Shuttlecocks]

And speaking of the missionary position (ahem!), have you heard the brouhaha about Our First Time? Smells like a really slick publicity stunt: Two "teens" plan to lose their virginity live on the Internet.

• Media Falls Hard For "First Time" Sex Site [TechWeb]
• Their First Time? [Brunching Shuttlecocks]

Tuesday, July 14, 1998

Shuckin’ my duds for a Party

There's no 'M' on MTV anymore. I think they took it out about the same time there stopped being 'N' on CNN.

Salon weighs in on the Tina Brown departure: Brown and out in New York.

During the decades-long editorship of the monkish William Shawn, the New Yorker had assumed the status of the summit of American letters, with all that "summit" entails — the immutability, the arid beauty, the dizziness and hypoxia after the long trek to the top of a Ved Mehta essay.

A nice summation on alternative publishing, AKA the history of 'zines. [via Obscure Store]

OK, I promised the story: Yes, the rumors are accurate...your's truly will be returning to the stage in St. Louis this August. I've agreed to take a part in New Line Theatre's "Out of Line" production of David Dillon's Party.

It's the story of seven friends who get together one night to play a wild version of "Truth or Dare," and let's just say that both prospects get the best of them. In the process, they learn a great deal about one another, drink quite a few shots of liquor punch and end up dancing naked as the evening winds down.

I'll pause while you re-read that last paragraph and ponder the implications.

Good, you're back. So, for those of you quick on the uptake, that means that yes, in fact, I will be appearing nude on stage. Think very carefully before you choose to make wisecracks. I have already heard just about every variation of whatever joke you intend to tell. Believe me, I did not consent to take on the part without getting past my trepidation about proving the show-biz maxim, "There are no small roles, only small actors."

The fact is, while Party will not be mistaken for high art by any viewer with half a brain, it's a fun, fluffy way to spend a couple of hours and I think I've got a great part. I play Ray, the show-tune lovin', acerbic yet witty priest.

Again, a pause to consider that notion.

Ray and I have a lot in common, as those friends of mine who dare to come and see the show will attest. Except for the priest part.

So am I nervous about the show? You betcha! But my anxiety stems less from the fact that a (hopefully) packed house every night is gonna see my dangly bits paraded around on stage....frankly, I'm more concerned about flubbing one or more of the many lines I have to commit to memory in the next week.

Party runs Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays in August at the St. Marcus Theatre. Tickets available through MetroTix. If you've been saying to yourself, "Gee, I just don't see enough of Brad these days...", well, here's your chance.

Friday, July 10, 1998

Who’s next?

MacWorld Expo continues in New York, and it's (almost) all about iMac. Check out major web coverage:

• Macintosh News Network
• MacInTouch
• MacAddict
• MacSurfer
• MacCentral

And, of course...

• Apple Computer
• AAPL Stock Price [via Yahoo]

Coming soon: Why Brad is trodding the boards in St. Louis once more...and why viewer discretion is advised.

Brown Out: Certainly not something a lot of folks didn't see coming, but yesterday, Tina Brown went and made it official—she's stepping down as editor of The New Yorker. The former Vanity Fair editor weathered her share of criticism, some of it valid, some of it petty. I, for one, enjoyed the mag under her leadership. Here's some coverage:

• Tina Brown Quits The New Yorker [Washington Post]
• Hot Copy Takes Note (about midway down)

So...who's next? Well, Graydon Carter—who succeeded Tina Brown when she left VF is near the top of everyone's armchair short-lists, but reportedly turned down the gig last week. The speculation about Spy's Kurt Andersen is intriguing, no?

Free food alert: My friends and former co-workers at the Times are celebrating their 20th anniversary with a picnic bash come Monday.

Buy vintage stuff on the Web at Po' White Trash! (I haven't had time to completely browse, but this could be a lot of fun!)

An interesting exercise in hypertext (and a fairly good read, too) debriefs The X-Files. [Feed]

Thursday, July 9, 1998

Sez Ms. Tucker

"From birth to age 18, a girl needs good parents, from 18 to 35 she needs good looks, from 35 to 55 she needs a good personality, and from 55 on she needs cash." — Sophie Tucker

Oy! What a busy week...rehearsals, work, more work, social obligations, yet more work. No time for a proper update, but there'll be plenty to discuss tomorrow, I promise.

Meanwhile, it's MacWorld Expo time, or—as it's turning out—iMacExpo. Check in with MacAddict or Macintosh News Network for all the latest poop. (No new zippy CPUs announced yet, but some pretty spiffy Q3 profits. Yay!)

Monday, July 6, 1998

Bike right and keep yer pecker up

Disquieting Homemade Bumper Sticker Spotted in my Neighborhood: "God is with you, so drive safe."

I'm going into rehearsals for a play (about which more later) this week and I'm in the middle of major publication project at work. If I suddenly disappear for a while, that's why.

Uh-Oh! Bicyclists, take note. Because of the design of seats, prolonged riding or certain patterns of activity can lead to impotence. [Bicycling Magazine]

Herb Moses and Rep. Barney Frank are calling it quits, and some gay activists are calling it the end of an era. Maybe. All it really is, though, is the end of a long and, by all accounts, happy relationship. (I wouldn't wish the pressure of being "role models" on anyone.) [Boston Globe]

Got any romantic missteps or my-man-done-done-me-wrong deathless prose to share? Consider rhapsodizing at bittersweets.org.

Charles Taylor says Armageddon is an apocalyptic bore. [Salon]

[Billy Bob] Thornton defends his decision to keep the public in the dark by saying that word of the impending collision would cause "a total breakdown in social services, mass religious hysteria." Try scaring anyone who lived through the Reagan administration with that.

Friday, July 3, 1998

Independence Day weekend notes

"Every moment, big or small, is of moment, after all. Seize the moment! Skies may fall any moment." — Into the Woods, Sondheim (natch!)

Looking for something? Old entries moved to the archive.

Looking for a quotable? Here's a nifty site to find wit and wisdom: Aphorisms Galore!

I guess when you're trying to take over the world, you try to make sure you have decent maps? Well, Microsoft is giving it a go, with what they claim is the world's largest image database. (The St. Louis maps are awfully outdated too, but real-time might be just a tad too scary.)

Billy's Hollywood Screen Kiss could either be really cute or mind-jammingly dumb. We shall see. Cute boys, though.

It's satire...for now. The Vatican may be rethinking its philosophy in hopes of gaining more lucrative market share. [or so sez The Onion]

I finally saw The Truman Show Wednesday night and really liked it. I probably would have liked it even more if I hadn't read so much of the advance press. Early reports revealed just a bit too much about the nuances of the production. Anyhow, The Atlantic Online has a clever take on the ersatz "protest" website that the studio put up to front it. [Atlantic Unbound]

OK, this is just weird: A social disease education site with a coffeehouse metaphor? Um...ick.

Allegations of on-set misconduct have grabbed the spotlight from what sounds like it might be a fairly credible Stephen King movie, Apt Pupil. But, quelle surprise, the whole affair may not hold much water. [LA New Times]

The boys' suits say that although they'd been promised their roles wouldn't involve nudity, once they entered the set, Singer and other crew members "commanded blaringly and screamingly" that they strip. The youths were then forced to stand naked for more than four hours as the cameras rolled and an "obviously homosexual" set photographer snapped pictures of them in "indecent positions," their lawsuits allege.

This one's for you, Jeff: Who needs the Drudge Report? When it comes to salacious gossip, no one tops (ahem!) Billy Masters. In the latest romp through the Hollywood gutter, he avers that E! talk hunk Steve Kmetko and Greg Lou(openly)ganis are gettin' serious.

Collectors, take note: After 45 years, TV Guide covers are a hot property. [New York Times]