Wednesday, April 16, 2003

Top Ten Things Actually Overheard in a Bathhouse, 1989-present

10. "Frankly, he looks better in a dress."
9. "Could you scoot over a little bit? You're blocking my good side."
8. "God, I used to watch your show every afternoon when I was a kid!"
7. "I'm not sure, but I think I just saw Gorbachev in the wet area."
6. "These towels are nicer than Martha Stewart's!"
5. "OK, one more lap. But then I've got to go downstairs and call my grandmother."
4. "That was scary. I'm pretty sure he's renting that room, that boy and that toupee by the hour."
3. "Fleet Week is over. This is apparently Fat Week."
2. "I'm not just saying he's into S & M. I'm saying the only kind of whip he doesn't have in that duffel bag is Cool Whip — and I'm not too sure about that!"
1. "I think that guy's on E." / "He doesn't look fucked up to me." / "Not the drug, the cable channel."