Monday, November 06, 2000

The greatest gift of all

I just want to make one thing absolutely clear right up front: I really thought he was 18.

At least, that's what I thought after my heart stopped skipping beats when I spotted him on the other side of the room. I mean, that's what I thought in between thinking "Gosh, he's been staring at me for a long time," and thinking "Which stars are appropriate to thank when an attractive and intelligent teenager asks you out for coffee?".

I really, really believed he was 18. Just barely, but still.

I continued to cling to this belief right up until the moment many, many hours later as he pulled the covers close around both of us, flashed a toothy grin and turned so the candlelight illuminated his flawless olive skin and deep, dark eyes, bright with youth, and casually mentioned that his birthday was tomorrow and would I like to see a movie with him to celebrate.

"Sure," I said. "Actually, my birthday is in a couple of weeks, too."

"How old are you going to be?" I had been dreading this question, not because I feel older and infirm but because I am fairly certain they still teach math in high school and 32 minus 18 is 14 and I'd just rather not think that I'm currently exchanging postcoital pillow talk with someone almost half my age. I told him anyway.

"Really?" he said. There followed what felt like a two-hour pause in the conversation. He's not 18 at all, I thought. Dear God, I'm going to jail, aren't I? My mind catapulted across possibilities, doing subtractions and long division to plumb the severity of my presumed pederasty.

"You're two years older than me?" he said incredulously. "All this time I had figured you were younger than me."

Another two-hour pause, observed because I'm struck dumb and moon-eyed by this revelation and by the knowledge that this young man -- this 30-year-old young man -- will spend a short time with me and then go home and not pass this way again for some time. He's attractive, intelligent and charming enough to say I seemed younger than he, even if he didn't really believe that at all. A few weeks early, it's the nicest birthday gift I expect to receive.