Friday, November 17, 2000

Signs Your Romantic Brunch Date (And, By Inference, Your Relationship) Is Not Going Well

• He brings a newspaper to read.


• It's USA Today.


• It still takes him two hours to read it, not including the Money section, which he puts aside.


• He fails to notice when you gently kiss his neck while the waitress isn't looking.


• He also fails to notice when you use your English muffins as Mickey Mouse ears, singing, "M-I-C...See you in Hell, you disinterested bitch."


• He remains oblivious when you leave, taking his car keys but leaving the unpaid check.