Thursday, June 24, 2004

Pride Floats You Won’t See

This weekend — the last of June — is, of course, the traditional observance of Gay Pride in the United States, which means Saturday and Sunday in cities across this great nation, millions of homosexuals will line the streets to witness the annual "Pride Parade" in their hometown.

(This used to be called a "Pride March" in the days before twinks took over the organizing committees and focused more on which obliquely famous, one-hit-wonder disco diva would headline the main stage and less on any political or social aim. Now it's a "parade" or, as my friend Norman once quipped, "the funeral procession for the death of taste".)

Surprisingly, though, amid the fearsome bare-chested lesbians, drag queens female illusionists, tweaked-out shirtless club kids simulating anal sex, and leathermen who seem to be perennial darlings of evening news photographers, there are still some parade floats and marching units you won't see.

• Folsom Street Tribute to the Men of Abu Gharib


• Twelve-Step Two-Steppers Recovery & Square Dance Club


• Gay Men Against Their Mothers Finding Out Gay Marriage Is Actually Legal Someplace


• Disney's Drag Extravaganza: Welcome to the Mulan Rouge


• The Gay Men Over 40 "Proud to Be Your Pity Fuck" Flag Brigade


• Don't Panic Presents "25 Years of Rainbow-Colored Crap"


• Association of Gay Men's Choruses Who Refuse to Perform Judy Garland Medleys


• Log Cabin Lesbians For Bush


• The New Closet: Guys Who Secretly Can't Stand Margaret Cho


• ACT-UP Alumni "Bring Back the Righteously Earnest Buzzcut" Campaign


• Black and White Men In Support of Martha: The Down Low Meets the Down Duvet


• Queer Equestrian League Salute to Barebacking

Of course, that last one would follow the inevitable "Dykes on Bikes" contingent. I like to think it would be called "Fags on Nags".