Wednesday, November 15, 2000

In which my body conspires against me…

I am fairly certain that my brain is attempting to convince my body it has superpowers it does not actually possess.

This morning, I rolled out of bed and groggily tried to walk right through my closed bedroom door, apparently believing that I could pass unhindered through solid objects. Late for work and nursing a bruised noggin, I attempted to make a 20 minute journey in approximately five minutes, subsequently disabused of the notion I was faster than a speeding bullet by the long arm (and prolific ticket pad) of the law. Upon arriving at my office, still a bit woozy and having not yet had my first dose of sweet, sweet caffeine, I prepared to sit at my desk and missed the chair by a good two feet, thus proving that the law of gravity does, in fact, apply to me.

I'm pretty sure this is a calculated campaign of revenge on the part of my brain to retaliate for that time a few years ago when it was duped by my heart into believing I could make Jason love me simply because I wanted it so badly.