Thursday, February 14, 2002

I remember…

A day or two ago.

It was very good Scotch whiskey, old and smooth and finely blended. But I don't drink Scotch any longer.

He poured out the double shots anyway, and we toasted and drank them together and he laughed and I flirted and he tipped the bottle again and I remembered.

Eight years ago.

A southside barroom, and a moment of perfect clarity. I was emboldened by the burn in my belly and the sweetness on my tongue, but even without, I was confident of my mind and my heart.

I made a call. We met at ten. I put my thoughts in order, my cards on the table and my hand on the back of his neck. Our lips met, my heart soared, the moment passed. And the only man I've ever really, truly loved walked away.

Still, it was very good Scotch whiskey. And I will love again. But I don't drink Scotch any longer.