Thursday, July 22, 2004

Hunted

In my professional circle, there are relatively few people who do what I do and, I admit with little modesty, fewer still who do it as well as I. So it wasn't really surprising when, a few years ago, I received a phone call out of the blue from the man I've come to think of as My Pal The Headhunter.

We had a nice chat that first time. He lavished me with praise, embroidering my résumé more creatively than I would ever have dared, and I mostly sat on the other end of the phone and occasionally grunted non-commitally. At the end of it, he asked me if I'd be interested in coming to New York and meeting with a couple of people who might be very enthusiastic about hiring me.

Interested I really wasn't, but I was intrigued, and so I went. I had a lovely couple of days in the city, met some extremely solicitous people and, although there was no offer forthcoming at the end of the process, more or less completely enjoyed the courtship.

"It's just as well, though," I told MPTH when I'd returned to St. Louis. "I really have no burning desire to move to New York anyway."

MPTH said some stroking things back to me, asked if he could stay in touch and then vanished from my life for nearly two years. The next time he called, it was for a position in Minneapolis.

"No thanks," I said.

Two months later, Denver. A bit after that, Los Angeles. Then Chicago. Then Atlanta.

I demurely declined to pursue them all.

I was just beginning to worry about MPTH — it'd been nearly four months since his last "let-me-run-this-past-you" check-in call — when my cell phone rang Tuesday afternoon on the way back from lunch. We had this conversation:

MPTH: You're still not interested in moving to New York? It's a great gig.

Brad: Oh? Tell me.

MPTH: So you are interested? What's changed?

Brad: Since we last danced? My base has gone up 20 thousand.

MPTH: Not a problem.

Brad: I need another week of vacation.

MPTH: Easy. There's a travel allowance too.

Brad: Full medical and dental.

MPTH: Got it.

Brad: And I'd need a generous relo package. I couldn't possibly live anywhere but Manhattan.

MPTH: Doable, I think. Anything else?

Brad: Just one thing.

MPTH: Yeah?

Brad: Last night, I had this rather...involved dream about John Tartaglia and Craig Bierko.

MPTH: I see. Heh, OK. I'm gonna have to call you back.

Brad: I look forward to it.

I'm still waiting for his call. But that's show biz, kids.