Monday, July 16, 2001

Embarrassing Photographs of Brad on Official Documents

SEVENTH IN A SERIES. COLLECT THE WHOLE SET. TRADE THEM WITH YOUR FRIENDS!



Of all the photo credentials I've dragged out for this feature, this is the newest and by far my favorite. This may very well be the best photo ever taken of me for an ID card, even if that's not a particularly grand accomplishment. On the other hand, this little card just saved me $200. I love this little card.

I picked it up last Friday, my official faculty ID card. Before leaving my office, I'd quipped to a co-worker that I was going to get it and fully expected never to be asked to produce it again. It's not as if campus security is prowling the streets, demanding transit papers from everyone. In the four years I carried a Webster student ID, I can't recall using it even once.

Times have changed. After snapping my picture with a digital camera far nicer than my own, the clerk at the University Center fed a blank piece of mag-stripe enhanced plastic into a card printer which, after much grinding and snarling, produced my new ID. Passing it acrosss the counter to me, the clerk began reciting its uses.

"Don't lose this," she said. "They cost $10 to replace. This'll be your library card, it works in the dining halls and snack bar, the computer center and drop-in lab and the fitness center. Have a nice day."

Fitness center? Did she say "fitness center"?

She did. It turns out that faculty members are granted free use of the school's very nice gym, workout center and pool, a privilege for which I was just minutes away from going downstairs and forking over the $200 alumni membership.

I get to work out for free for a whole year! Which is a good thing, considering the price of a campus parking permit went from $60 to $200 this year.