Monday, February 26, 2001

Embarrassing Photographs of Brad on Official Documents

FOURTH IN A SERIES. COLLECT THE WHOLE SET. TRADE THEM WITH YOUR FRIENDS!



I don't deserve this gym. Actually, I suppose it's a health club, but either way, I don't deserve it. The locker room is nicer than my house. The equipment is gleaming...in fact, everything gleams, including my trainer. I pay an obscene amount of money monthly for the privilege of using this gym -- which includes all the towels I can use, free use of the adjacent spa and all I can stand of something called "spinning," which bears a striking resemblance to what we used to call riding a stationary bike.

But as little as I deserve such a fine place to sweat three or four times a week, I deserve this photo on my membership card even less. My hair looks like I walked into Custom Cuts, only to be greeted by the receptionist with "Good afternoon, Mr. Munster!" My mouth appears to be roughly the size of Rhode Island. And my eyes? That's my French Stewart impression.

Pretty good, eh?

Next week: Dramatic license.