Tuesday, May 28, 2002

Coping strategies devised for eventual use upon discovering the beginnings of a bald spot

• resolve to hang out only with people shorter than self


• convert to Judaism, pledge to wear "perma-yarmulke"


• change name to Bo, join NBA, shave "B" into top of head


• purchase bushy red wig, lobby fashion press to hail Carrot Top as a trendsetter


• begin developing detailed list of friends' flaws and shortcomings to point out as diversionary tactic