Wednesday, September 19, 2001
A Conversation From the Bar Supermarket Scene
The phone rings.Brad: Hello?
Mark: I'm at the Esquire Schnucks. Where do I go?
Brad: I'm going to regret having helped you pick out that cell phone, aren't I?
Mark: You've been bragging for years about picking up guys at Schnucks.
Brad: Years?
Mark: It seems like it. So where do I go?
Brad: You might as well head over to the aisle where they sell "Soup for One".
Mark: Why? Are there cute guys there?
Brad: Never mind.
Mark: I'm disappointed. Where are all the cute boys you keep talking about?
Brad: Try the express lane.
Mark: How do you pick up a guy in the express lane?
Brad: When you spot one you like, get in line behind him and whisper seductively in his ear, "So, do you have twelve...or less?"
Mark: Shouldn't that be "or fewer"?
Brad: Being pedantic about grammar never got anyone laid. Trust me.
Brad L. Graham is a writer, editor, riverboat gambler, fashion consultant, softshoe dancer, professional assassin, freelance factotum and singer of sentimental ballads.The BradLands is his home on the web.