Thursday, October 05, 2000

A Conversation From the Bar Scene

Brad: Where have you guys been? I was beginning to get worried.

The Giant Queen: We were in an accident. Jeff nearly totalled his car, and damn near killed us.

Brad: Are you guys OK?

Jeff: It's not totalled and we're fine. Just a little shaken.

GQ: Plowed the front end of his kicky little Kia right into a light pole, four blocks from here.

Jeff: (casually) A few dents and broken pieces of plastic. The airbags didn't even deploy.

GQ: I am never riding with you again. Never.

Brad: What?! What on earth happened?

Jeff: I just lost control of the car for a moment.

GQ: You lost control of the car because you were driving with your knees and waving your hands in the air singing along with Madonna, and checking your hair in the rear-view mirror.

Brad: Jeff...

GQ: Then he turns to me and says "I can't believe you're wearing that tonight. Filene's Basement?" In the middle of this little disco dance and fashion moment, bang! Hello? Triple-A?

Jeff: It could have happened to anyone.

GQ: Oh yes, of course, anyone. Madonna-induced traffic accidents among gay men. It's happening more and more everyday. Dateline: NBC did 20 minutes on it last night. I think they're calling it "road flame."